Where does identity come from?

One of the first questions we ask someone we've just met is, "Where are you from?" It seems like a simple question, but depending upon that person's lived experiences, such a question may propel them into a tunnel of uncertainty, pride, or frustration.

It often escapes my mind that my mother isn’t from this country. Although she’s constantly speaking Armenian on the phone to her siblings, or cooking enough Lebanese dishes to feed an army (in a house of two people), my thoughts don't reduce her down to just an "immigrant". But how does she perceive herself, after having lived in the U.S. for nearly 50 years? I've wondered if she ever feels torn about her identity and her culture so many years separated from her mother country. Or maybe those contemplations never occupy her mind for more than a second, while she rolls dolma or stirs a pot of mujadara in the kitchen, bellowing Armenian words foreign to me into the phone at her sister.

I’ve heard her tell countless stories about her childhood, her grandparents, her parents, her siblings, and the beautiful countryside of Lebanon. But that’s not really her identity, is it? Just stories about it, but not about how she feels about them. I decided I should probably just ask her, instead of staring her down quietly, trying to read all of the various actions subconsciously ingrained into her life.

Upon thinking more about my mother, I realized how little we may pay attention to the complexities that comprise every individual's identity. I wanted to complicate the discussion about immigrants, just as my impressions of what that identity may mean or not mean have been complicated growing up with my mother. I wanted to understand the unique lived experiences of others who were born elsewhere, and how the places they've lived and grown up in have shaped who they are or wish to be. Most of all, I wanted to observe them speak to their cultures and internal conflicts as they desire the story to be constructed, as the reigns of their narrative are placed in their hands to get others to look beyond our own biases of identity.

In this pursuit, I sat down with three different people from drastically different countries, open and willing to share their stories with me. Each of them emigrated to the U.S. at different points in their lives. I asked each of them the following questions, with no expectations of how they may answer:

1. Where are you from?

2. Where were you born?

3. What do you identify as your culture? Has this definition changed since you came to this country?

4. What about your connections to your birth country’s culture have changed while living in the U.S.? How does that make you feel?

5. When someone asks you where you’re from, who isn’t me, what do you say? Why?

6. Do you think of yourself as an immigrant? Do you like to think of yourself as an immigrant?

7. Do you want to be associated with your birth country? How much or how little?

8. Is there anything you wish you did more or less to maintain your connection to your birth country?

9. Do you think you’ve created or gained a new cultural identity while living in the U.S.?

10. How much do you think identity is shaped by where you were born? Now, how much do you let it shape your identity?

11. Where is home to you?

Disclaimer: These interviews were edited for length and/or clarity. There were parts of the interview where I chose to include my voice as they best set up for the responses, but others I wanted to let the stories and narratives of each person flow without my presence having any sort of weight in the moment. These stories also do not belong to me, but wholeheartedly reflect the authentic perspectives of each subject. The photos are all courtesy of each interviewee who consented to providing the images for the project.